tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67192795766146038772024-03-12T20:52:09.702-07:00My Life as a Banditthe misadventures of a gastrically banded galLaurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-51431281900296892992011-07-22T17:27:00.000-07:002011-07-22T17:52:51.782-07:00Obesity soap? Lather me up!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Reduces fat without dieting or gymnastics!"</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Phew.</em> I've never been very good at gymnastics.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-33767100630622634882011-07-21T22:17:00.000-07:002011-07-21T22:17:05.323-07:00Help, my boobs are falling!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sadly, it's true. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Whatever boobs I had existed only because I had so much weight on me. So bye bye melons ... hello wrinkly pancakes! Soon I'll introduce you to my friend the heavily padded bra.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I cannot believe it's been nearly 10 months since I blogged here. Ten months of trying and failing, but getting up again and trying (and failing) and so forth. You get the picture. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I am <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>STILL</strong></span> here and I am <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>NOT</strong></span> giving up without a food fight.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">More catching up later ... I've had too much pink frosting tonight (no, that's not a euphemism) and I've got to go sleep it off.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Cheers, m'dears ...</span></div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-25089468986265950412010-09-24T12:33:00.000-07:002010-09-24T13:56:43.116-07:00Going on hiatus ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">No reason for this graphic except <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>PINK</strong></span> is my favorite color.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I am still banded (surprise surprise!) and after my first fill there is practically still no restriction. I guess this isn't unusual, and it may take a few more fills to have something really happening.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, I have two other blogs and I have been VERY busy with one of them especially. It's a blog that grew into something more than a blog; it's actually become an effective way for me to both celebrate and raise awareness about a particular breed of dogs (Welsh Corgis, which are actually two breeds), and -- this is the <em>really</em> ambitious (read TIME CONSUMING) thing -- put together a calendar with photos of over 200 of them in it to raise serious funds for the rehabilitation of breed rescues.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">It's been exhausting, thrilling, tedious, but most of all <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>rewarding</strong></span>. I can see that it is finally going to happen, that it is going to look fantastic, and that it will be the first creative product I have ever truly conceived of, executed and published entirely on my own. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">For reasons of privacy -- I don't want to have my identity traceable through this blog and have people I don't want to know about my bariatric surgery find out about it -- I'm not giving the URL's for my other blogs here. But if you'd like to know more about them, leave your name and contact information in a comment on this blog.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">One of them is on Welsh Corgis (<a href="http://www.akc.org/breeds/pembroke_welsh_corgi/"><span style="color: magenta;">here</span></a> and <a href="http://www.akc.org/breeds/cardigan_welsh_corgi/"><span style="color: magenta;">here</span></a>) and the other one is all about my taste in design. Mostly home design, but also fashion and various other things. I love color and beautiful things and "romance" (not the Harlequin kind necessarily) and that blog is a way for me to express those things.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">So -- if I don't write here for a while it's because three blogs going is too much for me -- but I will in all likelihood be back eventually ...</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Take care!</strong></span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div><div align="center"></div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-51288821909777179632010-09-16T15:52:00.000-07:002010-09-16T15:52:37.904-07:00I heart housework ... NOT!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">God, I am SO up a creek right now with housework. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I live in a very small place, with basically three rooms. (I combine the kitchen and bathroom to make a whole room, with the living room and bedroom rounding out the count). You'd think it would be easy to keep up with the whole maintenance thing.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">You'd be wrong!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">There is always, always, always something more interesting to do than housework, including picking the tiniest bits of lint off my newly brought out of storage corduroys. Way more intriguing than a Swiffer duster ... trust me.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I had a friend in last weekend to help me get some of the most important things done, and that was good. It was a start. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Act One.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Housework to be continued ... tomorrow. Or the tomorrow after that.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">We'll see!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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</span></div><div align="center"></div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-81831178502652554782010-09-15T19:42:00.000-07:002010-09-15T19:45:27.885-07:00Ouch!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Day one post-fill has gone well so far ... there really isn't a WHOLE lot more restriction, thought what is there is more noticeable than before.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've had two protein shakes, about a half cup of split pea soup, and a 4 oz. package of Wheat Thins. (That many Wheat Thins were a no-no, but I'm not doing this perfectly). I haven't had nearly enough water, I'll admit, but before I go to bed in an hour or so I'll have another glass or so, and probably another protein shake. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">The major body complaint I have at this point is my aching ankle and knee, which dog me no matter what I do! I think I'd have to rest up for a week in order to calm these <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>hot spots</strong></span> down.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">(Sorry, Ben Gay). </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Back at the end of April I sprained my left ankle really badly (as in torn ligaments bad), and according to the orthopedist it'll take a year to heal. In the meanwhile, walking on it apparently isn't helping.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">The problem with the right knee is simple: I sat on my butt for years and all of a sudden I'm walking around, going up stairs, acting like Wonder Woman ain't got nuthin' on me. A for ambition, D for execution! </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I dove right into it -- particularly the climbing stairs part -- without a second thought. They (meaning the people on my bariatric surgery team) said to exercise as soon as possible after surgery, so I did. Walking was the easiest, cheapest (free!) thing going, I could do it right inside my apartment building throughout this Summer's numerous heat waves, and it felt good! </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">At least until my ankle and knee started screaming blue blazes.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">So that's where things are at today. I'm having to practice patience, which means I actually have to <em><span style="color: magenta;">find</span></em> some patience to practice <em><span style="color: magenta;">with</span></em>. </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">At least I don't have to eat reindeer dumplings. (Globe Trekker is on the telly right now, and they're exploring the cuisine of Scandinivia).</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Reinder dumplings. Just say NO!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div><div align="center"></div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-17984628594208620052010-09-14T20:45:00.000-07:002011-07-21T22:23:40.605-07:00Wahooooo! Got my first fill today.<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I feel so relieved it's done that I could dance the watusi ...</span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">There's definitely some restriction. Not sure yet quite how much because I'm on liquids only for the next twenty-four hours (thank the goddesses I actually like protein shakes). </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's like getting the keys to the car ... let's drive this sucker!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: magenta; font-size: x-large;">Yay.</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div></div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-30518005528729007562010-09-13T13:10:00.000-07:002010-09-13T13:10:16.890-07:00Reality calling!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I never fail to be amazed at how miserable I have to get before I pick up the phone (or get on the computer) and contact other people to ask for help!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'd love to be the woman who does everything right, the first time, on my own, thank you very much! Somewhere along the way I learned that this was the way to BE, and anything less than that meant <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>BEING</strong></span> less. Unacceptable.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Would I expect this of anybody else? Nope. So why do I deserve it? </span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I know just where I picked up that notion, actually (entire books have been written about how these things get handed down from one life to another) ... but I'd like to learn how to drop it off and leave it behind, for good. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thing is, I need help with it. (Oh no, not <em>that</em>!)</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">There are ambassadors at the clinic where I got my bariatric surgery. They're post-op patients successful at a year (or more) out -- some of them are three or more years out -- and they voluntarily make themselves available to those who are following in their footsteps. Or hoping to, at any rate.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">One of these ambassadors was a great help to me before the surgery, and she visited me in the hospital afterwards. Super nice woman, a bypass patient whose husband also had the procedure done. Their lives have changed for the better in so many ways ... so yes, she's an inspiration.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">The thing is, I get afraid to approach these "success stories" with my own troubles. As if they've never been there, never had similar obstacles to overcome. I struggle to remember that people who are thin are actually the same species as I am -- a humorous exaggeration, but not by much!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">It's just been so long since I was anything but an obese person. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyway ... </span></div><div align="center"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My "fathead" thinking is getting in the way. The "I'm not good enough" thinking. The "they'll always be better than me" thinking. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stinking thinking!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The good news? I reached out for help today and a very cool lady who got banded in '06 reached right back. She is the soul of positivity and encouragement. I feel some hope returning, after the desolation of the past couple of weeks.</span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">I'm NOT supposed to be able to do this alone, am I?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If I could, wouldn't I have already done it?</span><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-66246979830127193972010-09-12T10:24:00.000-07:002010-09-12T10:25:31.735-07:00Hangin' by a thread.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><strong>Ack!</strong></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHqrmKIQZBwXA_liHa3fvBfl58nZv4o56E5fHtKp7NRDXGV0z6yOdgKYrD1iTxeUzAyGgQLHvMs7axRD-Jga_fJOL791jm7SLM1yNX3li8uo6xJ31hUvFI11fkhY_3gLoNlrc6rLmDUE/s1600/singer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="302" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHqrmKIQZBwXA_liHa3fvBfl58nZv4o56E5fHtKp7NRDXGV0z6yOdgKYrD1iTxeUzAyGgQLHvMs7axRD-Jga_fJOL791jm7SLM1yNX3li8uo6xJ31hUvFI11fkhY_3gLoNlrc6rLmDUE/s400/singer.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Still in the "making alterations" phase of post-op ...</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">... knowing full well this will be of little or no inspiration to those of you hoping to get a boost from my bandit's blog, I'll just say that as I await fill #1, I am eating whatever I want, however much of it I want, and frankly Scarlett -- not giving much of a damn while I'm at it.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I'd like to be able to write that I've been virtuous, my diet's been pure as the driven snow, and am therefore smugly self-satisifed. But no, none of these are even remotely true.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">The one thing I can say is that I've continued my walking routine, even with the bum knee and ankle. At least there is that, right?</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">People are telling me to be easy on myself. That just sounds like utter nonsense to my addled mind right now. But that probably means it's the most important thing I can hear. When I'm seriously clinically depressed (which I am), I am averse to hearing helpful things because I doubt any of them will help <strong><span style="color: magenta;">ME</span></strong>. </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">So this is where I'm at, and it's just me being honest about it.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Thanks for reading ... I sincerely hope you are having a far better day than I, dear reader.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>image: blog.craftzine.com</em></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-20059391683494795112010-09-10T09:21:00.000-07:002010-09-10T09:23:41.612-07:00The times, they are a-changin'.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, after an extended absence (during which I seriously considered deleting this blog altogether), somebody actually asked after my well being via a comment. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em><span style="font-size: large;">Neat-O!</span></em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVBK0yaBvc2F6ao6vaujjwxZElmstioYGTDprAzcSJvMT8xssEzStqe5w1hTDOa9hXTSQGJvdeHvLvCGLp1fYNuFsCGfyDdo1BtqWB5sZJb_qhPfNcAU86iquKXE-oem59VAxanVYqWiA/s1600/hairstylesposterdashbargainsdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVBK0yaBvc2F6ao6vaujjwxZElmstioYGTDprAzcSJvMT8xssEzStqe5w1hTDOa9hXTSQGJvdeHvLvCGLp1fYNuFsCGfyDdo1BtqWB5sZJb_qhPfNcAU86iquKXE-oem59VAxanVYqWiA/s400/hairstylesposterdashbargainsdotcom.jpg" width="253" /></span></a></div><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Not only do people have me bookmarked, at least one of them is actually reading! I find this encouraging.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">So thank you, reader(s).</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Where have I been these last weeks ... well, truth be told I've been all over the map. I have developed a condition my therapist likens to post-partum depression. I didn't give birth to a child, I gave birth to a new way of doing things around food, and as a food addict that is <span style="color: magenta;">HUGE</span>.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I had been glossing over that fact, doing a pretty swell job of denying that I needed any more help with this, that I had the whole thing licked (pun intended), when in fact I was whistling Dixie cups in the wind. </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">If this major life change has showed me anything at all, it's that I need the support of other people. </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Now I don't know about you, but I grew up in a household where there was a lot of fending for yourself. By this I refer not to regular meals, clothing, transporation and comfortable shelter. Instead, I refer to the whole emotional piece of life. I learned what I learned in a fairly dysfunctional environment, from people who themselves were raised in dysfunctional family systems, and it turns out that you can get along pretty well in life for a while on your own smarts and charms. </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Pretty well, until those things fail to feed your soul (as they inevitably will, if your soul has any depth to it). </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">It isn't the first time I've hit a wall like this. In fact, the wall has the imprint of my face on it. No mean feat, when you consider it's made of concrete. (I can be very determined, tenacious, stubborn ... and thick as a brick).</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Surprise, surprise ... in spite of what I learned, I'm not supposed to do <span style="color: magenta;">Life</span> alone. </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">In the past two weeks, my best friend's cat died (and it nearly nearly killed the both of us, having to put her down), I lost NO weight, and I started bingeing my brains out again. There's essentially no restriction with the band as it is, so I'm waiting for next Tuesday's first fill like a hungry baby waits for the bottle.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Thing is, as much as really do need that, I have large issues of self to look at. Instead of eating, I have to look at them. </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Damn!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">To those of you considering having this surgery, especially those who have been dealing with any sort of depressive or anxiety issues over a long span of time, I must warn you: <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>bariatric surgery will not only NOT fix those things, it might actually exacerbate them until you figure out other ways to "deal" than using food</strong></span>.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Make sure you have a support network, and be ready to use it!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-43722248366756596222010-08-29T08:24:00.000-07:002010-08-29T08:49:09.312-07:00On why I cannot keep (even sugar-free) pudding mix in the house ...<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEIOf3P4DApWXsGk0df2hvllY42e9WfBc-e1tSJZqJaFwI6LFRX0E0U4xQdG4tS4TOxFFU7ev7ON6sH-YxPKrTntI6xls4hGsv387i-1XCOBXkBh9pOlzugv2P9SiN71xvs9GKEYilP8g/s1600/dietsnowballscontextdotorg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEIOf3P4DApWXsGk0df2hvllY42e9WfBc-e1tSJZqJaFwI6LFRX0E0U4xQdG4tS4TOxFFU7ev7ON6sH-YxPKrTntI6xls4hGsv387i-1XCOBXkBh9pOlzugv2P9SiN71xvs9GKEYilP8g/s640/dietsnowballscontextdotorg.jpg" width="219" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">... because pudding is a <em><span style="color: magenta;">binge food</span></em> for me, and I can have pudding in FIVE MINUTES FLAT if I have the mix and milk (which I always have) on hand. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">If recovery and growth is about honesty, well this is the honest truth. I can't keep even the "guiltless" versions of these things in my house yet. Maybe someday, but not today.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">How do I know this? </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Two bowls of pudding yesterday, kids. An additional six hundred or so calories, which in and of itself isn't the problem, so much as the fact that I chose to eat instead of dealing with my feelings. Weekend feelings, which are some of the hardest for me.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Can anybody else relate to the "weekend feelings" phenomenon? When the hustle and jostle and routine of the week are absent and there is suddenly a lack of structure and routine to distract?</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's an issue. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">And issues gotta be dealt with. (<span style="color: magenta;"><em>Damn!</em></span>)</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-67312164642869053972010-08-28T14:48:00.000-07:002010-08-28T17:35:15.647-07:00This time it's serious.<span style="font-size: large;">Well, I knew the pink cloud was going to dissolve eventually. Nearly four weeks out from my surgery, it has definitely disappeared.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I ate it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now, without the fog of food, I am faced with all the stuff I was eating over. All the stuff that was eating me. It's up in my face, and I want to eat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So I've eaten.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And eaten.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Ane eaten.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Even without any restriction (still waiting for my first fill), there really is only so much I can eat without feeling sick. MUCH less than I used to be able to eat, and before the band I wouldn't really get sick, per se. I'd just get so full and fogged out that all I could do was sleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yep, food drunk. It's a real thing, and it isn't pretty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So far I haven't ventured into any bread or pasta products, having heard such horror stories about them getting stuck (or worse, coming back up). Luckily I haven't experienced a single episode of anything coming up ... it all stays down, though if I've taken in too much my stomach will hurt as though it's been stretched. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;"><strong>The food is down but my "stuff" is up.</strong></span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A couple of people who care greatly for me have told me that I need to stop looking backwards, because the would-a, could-a, should-a's are not helpful, and in fact are downright nasty. I've been advised to take the rear view mirror and break it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Caution, memories in mirror are closer than they appear" ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And more dangerous, too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Repeat to self, as many times as necessary: I'm on a learning curve. Things won't happen overnight. There is no such thing as an overnight success. Success takes time, effort and patience.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ah, patience -- that's what I crave most of all!</span>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-25804771852539403392010-08-24T20:37:00.000-07:002010-08-24T20:51:00.490-07:00Oh, shit.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I gained 1.5 pounds in the past two weeks. That's right, I GAINED weight on a diet of protein shakes and (not a lot of) pureed food.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW62smU_2pOM8mqZScDk6N2uI8Oy4O9oeGQCyj9WyAlhQ4LkPSaDcWBGo0A15s8Sy3lYpCv8jNQkzEjl_iZ7uXopa4P9dwdLwfSGnQoqUdEE0lTvDa4GBTbzN4pSwzMBxucRfimAe11vs/s1600/ohshit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW62smU_2pOM8mqZScDk6N2uI8Oy4O9oeGQCyj9WyAlhQ4LkPSaDcWBGo0A15s8Sy3lYpCv8jNQkzEjl_iZ7uXopa4P9dwdLwfSGnQoqUdEE0lTvDa4GBTbzN4pSwzMBxucRfimAe11vs/s400/ohshit.jpg" width="305" /></span></a></div><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm perturbed!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">I'm disturbed!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I don't get it!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">My clothes are all fitting me more loosely than they did two weeks ago. People tell me they can see the loss in my face, neck and abdomen. I am feeling so much lighter ...</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">... or at least I <em><strong><span style="color: magenta;">was</span></strong></em>.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">What GIVES?</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">On the brighter side, tonight's support session on "Changing Relationships" was helpful. What a terrific program they have at my hospital. Truly outstanding!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm resolved to get more exercise. I've been fooling myself into thinking that so long as I don't eat much, I can get away without exercising regularly. When they told me to exercise religiously, that it would be absolutely necessary for me to lose the weight, I didn't <strong><span style="color: magenta;"><em>really</em></span></strong> believe them.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhzTxppDz_LutpoH-56lb7aBkITyq5YjGUcUlbaVT64mzLscPBn7qeIYpcL69yn0aDgKXx8gxos9wi_VURKY3Pmcgm7iDy5WFfv-8MrvgxozWgHmD4rlV-AgauaWPiO31I1e7r3lWWG7A/s1600/pantyhosefire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhzTxppDz_LutpoH-56lb7aBkITyq5YjGUcUlbaVT64mzLscPBn7qeIYpcL69yn0aDgKXx8gxos9wi_VURKY3Pmcgm7iDy5WFfv-8MrvgxozWgHmD4rlV-AgauaWPiO31I1e7r3lWWG7A/s400/pantyhosefire.jpg" width="280" /></a></div><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Silly rabbit! Mind tricks are for kids.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">After polishing off a six pack of sugar-free pudding cups (which solved absolutely nothing), I am ready for a night's sleep to wipe this day clean.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Yay, sleep!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div><div align="center"></div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-72027486701991083322010-08-24T13:41:00.001-07:002010-08-24T13:42:57.681-07:00Bariatric TV<span style="font-size: large;">I've become a regular watcher of the weekly "episodes" (10 minutes and under) on bariatrictv.com. They're fun (if a little dorky sometimes) and informative.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here's the latest one; sorry it's so HUGE but I don't know HTML and can't re-size it.</span><br />
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<embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" bgcolor="dddddd" flashvars="&adtvideo.config=http%3A%2F%2Fbariatrictv.com%2Fadconfig%2Fba.xml&backcolor=dddddd&bandwidth=12235&botr=false&bufferlength=7&config=http%3A%2F%2Fbariatrictv.com%2Fwp-content%2Fplugins%2Fsimple-flash-video%2Fconfig.xml&controlbar.margin=0&controlbar.size=59&default_click_title=Click%20on%20Image%20to%20Watch!&description=Episode%2087%3A%20Pirate%20Mike&dock=false&enable_meta_tags=false&file=http%3A%2F%2Fd3hawaxlh87e74.cloudfront.net%2Fepisode_87.mp4&full_plugin_url=http%3A%2F%2Fbariatrictv.com%2Fwp-content%2Fplugins%2Fsimple-flash-video&gapro.accountid=UA-6457821-1&gapro.trackpercentage=true&gapro.trackstarts=true&gapro.tracktime=true&level=0&lightcolor=66FFFF&logo=http%3A%2F%2Fd3nwd5rx6lnpgd.cloudfront.net%2Flogo_bug.png&playlist.size=200&playlistsize=200&plugins=adtvideo%2Cviral-2%2Cgapro-1&repeat=false&skin=http%3A%2F%2Fbariatrictv.com%2Fwp-content%2Fplugins%2Fsimple-flash-video%2Fskins%2FKleur.swf&title=Episode%2087%3A%20Pirate%20Mike&viral.link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.BariatricTV.com&viral.onpause=true" height="525" src="http://bariatrictv.com/wp-content/plugins/simple-flash-video/mediaplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="800"><br />
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Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-51598418507544746582010-08-24T11:59:00.000-07:002010-08-24T13:03:26.446-07:00Meet my motivation.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">This photo of Scottish actor James McAvoy is the wallpaper on my PC.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdU7xWHQCX6WvpreUOkXlnX4_hqxSEZwY9V4Nxket2CGJ6QWxMY3QIcO2fbq_-cPSXfIxmzcce2p61oqqOT6X3GC306eYiZje5-OovMdtEWpDxu38qVcvb0OsChVS0sM7-iMv5rNOIrbg/s1600/mcavoymotivation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="512" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdU7xWHQCX6WvpreUOkXlnX4_hqxSEZwY9V4Nxket2CGJ6QWxMY3QIcO2fbq_-cPSXfIxmzcce2p61oqqOT6X3GC306eYiZje5-OovMdtEWpDxu38qVcvb0OsChVS0sM7-iMv5rNOIrbg/s640/mcavoymotivation.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">When my mind wanders off into potato chip territory, I turn to Mssr. McAvoy, look deeply into his eyes, and imagine him saying "Do you want <strong><span style="color: magenta;">THAT</span></strong> or do you want <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>ME? </strong></span><span style="color: black;">Because if you have that, then darlin' you can't have me."</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">There really is no contest. I mean look at those eyes. Those eyes are talkin', and what they're saying isn't fit for polite company.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not that I'm going for polite.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><em><strong>ahem.</strong></em></span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-35043340738620199572010-08-24T11:51:00.000-07:002010-08-24T11:51:33.677-07:00Fun with protein shakes: lemon cheesecake!<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Everytime I figure out a new way to glamour-up a protein shake, I want to share it with the world. </span><span style="font-size: large;">But since the world isn't tuning in to my puny little blog, I will share it with you, my faithful readers!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">To eight ounces of vanilla protein powder, add a good shake of sugar-free, fat-free Jello pudding mix in lemon and cheesecake flavors. (Not the entire packet, maybe 1/4 to 1/3 of the packet). </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I like to include an ice cube or two to make the whole thing colder, and a bit of water to make the whole thing last just a little bit longer. If I remember to do it, I'll throw in some sugar-free fiber powder too, to up the ante.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Result? Lemon cheesecake flavored protein shake.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is yum with a capital <strong><span style="color: magenta;">Y</span></strong>!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-30594744441997524942010-08-24T10:45:00.000-07:002010-08-24T10:52:04.083-07:00Where the boys are ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tonight I'm attending a support group tonight for bariatric surgery patients on "Changing Relationships", and it can't come a moment too soon.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've just entered the "Visibility Zone". By which I mean I am no longer completely invisible to all men, everywhere. Some men -- admittedly a small percentage -- are actually starting to regard me as worth a second look, a checking out, a lingering glance.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">At some point, some men might actually pick up the phone and call me. Haley's Comet comes around more frequently than men calling me (if you don't count the telemarketers).</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><strong>(Eeeeeek!)</strong></span></em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1V6JagovEHPuiKHN2EsGF8gMfQFR0ej3fnPHRKgugd-Kg6gLHNO8agfncszkDI4olJf58yrtemrPpo2IYkJa6KynrMyqBQSccd6K6PWOcgx49mnH1zy2NmQB9zbptPDh6MggY_8gsJ4/s1600/elvis-on-blue-phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="245" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1V6JagovEHPuiKHN2EsGF8gMfQFR0ej3fnPHRKgugd-Kg6gLHNO8agfncszkDI4olJf58yrtemrPpo2IYkJa6KynrMyqBQSccd6K6PWOcgx49mnH1zy2NmQB9zbptPDh6MggY_8gsJ4/s400/elvis-on-blue-phone.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;">image: vintagerotaryphone.com</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now, if it were the young Elvis -- and he was a perfect gentleman (ha!) -- I wouldn't mind. But the net drags in a lot of interesting catches, none of whom have ever been remotely Elvis-like. Well, maybe they fanced themselves as Elvis-like, but really ... <span style="color: magenta;"><strong><em>delusional</em></strong></span>.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm not saying looks are what it's all about, though of course they do matter. It's my own looks are the game changer, here. As my looks change for the better, the invisibility cloak begins to fade and I feel ... vulnerable. Even though I could still give the Pillsbury Doughboy a run for his money, I feel the change afoot.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">How many times have I sat by the phone wondering, waiting, asking why?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why isn't he calling?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why can't I call him?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Nice girls don't call ... do they?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGwjGP3pfLfHFUzw5M1xq5wvlMjuU563FPFMfum8Plf_FzLJKmorTU4SwgGebycgIEX0PpKeJbpxAKR7p9lhp-agbrpm3f4EJ3uyHncQoFBM1f4LhZtaqAXFB-V3g0ODcJCQ5D-pfLjds/s1600/pzrservicesdottypepaddotcom2.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGwjGP3pfLfHFUzw5M1xq5wvlMjuU563FPFMfum8Plf_FzLJKmorTU4SwgGebycgIEX0PpKeJbpxAKR7p9lhp-agbrpm3f4EJ3uyHncQoFBM1f4LhZtaqAXFB-V3g0ODcJCQ5D-pfLjds/s400/pzrservicesdottypepaddotcom2.bmp" width="262" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Is the phone working? Because ____ might've tried and couldn't get through!"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's been more than 15 years since anybody with a male chromosome has asked me out on anything but a friendly date. "Friendly" meaning no kissin', no huggin', no nuthin' at the end of the night. Which I settled for because I was a B.F.G. (Big Fat Girl), and I believed with all my heart that this meant nobody would want even a casual kiss and cuddle with me, unless they were kids below the age of five, or my cats. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was married for a while. But after a too-short time there was precious little carnal knowledge, most of which I had to pursue. Wait for it ... can you hear the far-off sound of self-esteem ratching down another few notches?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">My point -- and I do have one -- is that the tides are changing beneath my feet, and unless I keep myself on social mothballs, as I've been doing for over a decade, I will have to brave the sticky wicket of men and How Men Are.</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglh-sEyi2TerZHldY0Xfog7Y9W5DLES0zLwid2T50O16r_MGng-mEGgQg0pYiUHW1OJ04oTIEl9m2bJaqaXSmNl44bcESPnqIJt-5vHuesDpOnUrO1UcgbVtfnGGRppi8NnHflX_LzlXE/s1600/dietronsonatomichousewifeflickr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglh-sEyi2TerZHldY0Xfog7Y9W5DLES0zLwid2T50O16r_MGng-mEGgQg0pYiUHW1OJ04oTIEl9m2bJaqaXSmNl44bcESPnqIJt-5vHuesDpOnUrO1UcgbVtfnGGRppi8NnHflX_LzlXE/s320/dietronsonatomichousewifeflickr.jpg" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">There is always staying at home frisking about with my fabulous hair dryer!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">They ask out, they put themselves on the line, they express interest (even when they already have someone else they are supposedly very interested in ... as in married, co-habitating, or leaving their toothbrush, toenail clippers and clean skivvies at their girlfriend's place). How am I supposed to figure out who's safe and sane and who isn't?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I need advice.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I need to learn how to judge and fend for myself.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">But most of all, perhaps I need to learn to trust myself and my own instincts, so that I can drop the scaredy-cat armor and actually ENJOY the attention, the opportunity, the fun of being desirable again. At least to some.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Which is better than none.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Like my blog banner says, this space is all about my "misadventures". If I can laugh and share them and connect with others around them, I have to believe I'll be OK. That, and the obligatory visits to the shrinker, will see me through.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Can anybody else relate?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">I'd love to hear from you!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-65874289650621336142010-08-24T08:24:00.000-07:002010-08-24T08:27:00.941-07:00Today, I weigh.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I haven't been weighed in for two weeks now, since my first post-op visit with the surgeon on August 10th. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">There's no doubt I've lost additional weight, so why am I nervous about stepping on the scale?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAQq3vAs1_StlVmP8iaTxmFi9BF4rg9thxJt2NmCeaGB2aIo7YQttUx090TeMDp0TU2B7R7FqXuxEU3u8TOH8S32nPlE0Idv5Q94hXtCdPu52WgnoJE9DifLhVptcbthcVp0jm0wEBAA0/s1600/dietscalepaulawirthflicr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="640" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAQq3vAs1_StlVmP8iaTxmFi9BF4rg9thxJt2NmCeaGB2aIo7YQttUx090TeMDp0TU2B7R7FqXuxEU3u8TOH8S32nPlE0Idv5Q94hXtCdPu52WgnoJE9DifLhVptcbthcVp0jm0wEBAA0/s640/dietscalepaulawirthflicr.jpg" width="248" /></span></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">After all, "a wise woman can read her romantic future in a bathroom scale". (See above for this tidbit of timeless wisdom).</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe I'm just still a little freaked out by being asked out yesterday ... by a senior gentleman with one good eye and too much aftershave. If I keep losing lbs., will there be more of his kind in my "romantic future"?</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I'd really prefer somebody like Scottish actor James McAvoy ...</span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYhHcvo9haN6AwxlbCCwN5kNEzN6kUTesCpUBCP2ZhkCttiIMJCPXi6pTu_hMLW5Q1lakWs6z-p1CZ0dgKTnPfgtxiufCi4IOLzG8A5y7m9vBZ5yeTxmguO6834FMK8l_o4JztIZzoVEQ/s1600/jamesmcavoy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYhHcvo9haN6AwxlbCCwN5kNEzN6kUTesCpUBCP2ZhkCttiIMJCPXi6pTu_hMLW5Q1lakWs6z-p1CZ0dgKTnPfgtxiufCi4IOLzG8A5y7m9vBZ5yeTxmguO6834FMK8l_o4JztIZzoVEQ/s400/jamesmcavoy.jpg" width="265" /></span></a></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">... I'd like to order up a six pack of <strong><span style="color: magenta;">THAT</span></strong>, honey.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Yesiree!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-26140682129217874862010-08-23T12:14:00.000-07:002010-08-23T12:14:40.373-07:00I was just asked out for the first time in over a decade ...<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">... by a sixty-something guy who has one good eye and too much aftershave.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">oh.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">my.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">God!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjafjDyULtrx4WWtBuXEGjMdMj9zu_OyXadHKWz41edrtfOhR4IH_J8nlZ31M4DnLnQ0FIJyj5fgNrB15Qzw56FESOCY4dT9e6mojhz-O7gnDZVWHGKLen90YX8OQ7SirXzrJW3mlnL8eU/s1600/dietcheapeasyartzthingsdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjafjDyULtrx4WWtBuXEGjMdMj9zu_OyXadHKWz41edrtfOhR4IH_J8nlZ31M4DnLnQ0FIJyj5fgNrB15Qzw56FESOCY4dT9e6mojhz-O7gnDZVWHGKLen90YX8OQ7SirXzrJW3mlnL8eU/s320/dietcheapeasyartzthingsdotcom.jpg" /></span></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">He may have had only one good eye, but he was certainly using it shamelessly. Up and down and all around, thank you very much.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Should I count this as a Non-Scale Victory? I did get asked out, after all, and this is a huge step from complete (and ironic) invisibility to men.</span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Excuse me while I go wash the aftershave and <span style="color: magenta;">heebie-jeebies</span> off!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">p.s. I didn't say yes or no, I simply said "yeah, I'm sure I'll see you around again sometime".</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Which I <span style="color: magenta;"><strong><em>think</em></strong></span> is a nice no ...</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-84733926565580578672010-08-23T09:55:00.000-07:002010-08-23T13:05:13.983-07:00Pepto a-bis-mol ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kids, don't try this at home!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've tried the experiment twice now, and each time the result was the same.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEght6P3am53vwNLu5kt9WuuvAjRSGeBn8nntplzq3bP4pdiBGU_D_ZVyU2xAiiEj-FDlyireylDZeu8dHPDxzGhanhdjg96n-CPKjZ6lxehxHan3cxUE8FJPthhvxZNsKYByjLPd9v6lpM/s1600/peptoad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEght6P3am53vwNLu5kt9WuuvAjRSGeBn8nntplzq3bP4pdiBGU_D_ZVyU2xAiiEj-FDlyireylDZeu8dHPDxzGhanhdjg96n-CPKjZ6lxehxHan3cxUE8FJPthhvxZNsKYByjLPd9v6lpM/s320/peptoad.jpg" /></span></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Another weekend, another illicit rendezvous with instant mashed potatoes. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I bought a smaller package this time, telling myself "Oh, it's less than half of what I had before, and I'm eating so little nowadays, it won't be a problem."</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><strong>Ha! Bold faced liar!</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">There are some foods I absolutely cannot have in my pantry without eating The Whole Thing Right Away. Especially if they are simple carbs, even better if I can easily get them down through my (still-not-filled) band. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">So that whole bowl of very buttered-and-salted mashed potatoes has stretched my stomach and left me nauseous. This a-bis-mol state of affairs for a five minute episode of mashed potatoes.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">Not worth it.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not worth it.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">Not worth it!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-29299153230103808702010-08-22T14:50:00.000-07:002010-08-22T21:25:50.777-07:00The scaled down version of me.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don't have a scale at home. As I've previously mentioned, I have no self-control around a bathroom scale. I am, in short, a "scale ho".</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwq_O2tuhENyE-kRWCvrZ982tNpxptb4j8ogM18rkdqKi-O_eRdXLl0GGYF3VDEx0065rtrnH_dqSIljiL3F0A6qavuNVKmBpBqS1DawAHbB5aDxxB-YXE2UFC8x1yfIwRu-uTyZ4lWeI/s1600/scalephoto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwq_O2tuhENyE-kRWCvrZ982tNpxptb4j8ogM18rkdqKi-O_eRdXLl0GGYF3VDEx0065rtrnH_dqSIljiL3F0A6qavuNVKmBpBqS1DawAHbB5aDxxB-YXE2UFC8x1yfIwRu-uTyZ4lWeI/s320/scalephoto.jpg" /></span></a></div><br />
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</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">If the number is down, I'm up. If the number is up, I'm down. My moods are random enough already ... having an evil scale in the house will just give me one more thing to obsess over, try to avoid even as I can think of little else, and use as an excuse to eat or not eat, or overeat and swear I'll do it all differently tomorrow.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Ah yes, the perpetual, magical <span style="color: magenta;"><strong><em>tomorrow</em></strong></span>!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I have had decades of tomorrows, and mostly they led to more eating, more weight and more misery. Tomorrows always came, and with them the consequences of what I had or hadn't done the day before.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">The scale was a favorite tool of mine in that war of attrition, until I gave up even keeping one in the house because I just didn't want to know what I weighed anymore.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Now I don't keep one in the house because I want to know what I weigh, I just want to know too MUCH! Better to weigh in every other week at the doctor's office and be done with it. </span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">It's nice when there are simple solutions to pain in the patootie problems.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-4248867444377739972010-08-22T10:47:00.000-07:002010-08-22T10:47:06.837-07:00Dahling, you look MAH-velous!<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I suppose this is a second NSV for me ...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><object height="310" width="380"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hZl3gGV4H6c?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hZl3gGV4H6c?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="380" height="310"></embed></object></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I saw a dear friend from my college days recently, someone I've remained close to since then but whom I rarely get to see, and he told me I looked marvelous.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">That he could see the "old me" coming back!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">OK, I'll take that! I've still got over 100 pounds to lose (give or take) but if it's that obvious already ... <strong><span style="color: magenta;">s'MARveLouS</span></strong>!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">And it almost makes up for the lingering lumbar agonies of having danced way, WAY too much on Friday night.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Oh well ... such is the life of a "loser".</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-83232225571332231052010-08-21T08:53:00.000-07:002010-08-21T09:36:41.117-07:00First Non-Scale Victory!<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I went to a <a href="http://theb52s.com/">B-52's</a> concert last night and shook my honeybuns to every single song!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmXSSgpad5L1tYjgrKwT3kpIhlyhs7pxVUZRgEl_MEjEYZjA5hKCFvXCkyDUJGSYHfBXHq7DXGfXvcigOYO5hQyYnG7-M6C4MwUEdvv32gD9B8M1j8KWxgjluOVWFye5b1KmBTC5R5_z0/s1600/album-the-b-52s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmXSSgpad5L1tYjgrKwT3kpIhlyhs7pxVUZRgEl_MEjEYZjA5hKCFvXCkyDUJGSYHfBXHq7DXGfXvcigOYO5hQyYnG7-M6C4MwUEdvv32gD9B8M1j8KWxgjluOVWFye5b1KmBTC5R5_z0/s320/album-the-b-52s.jpg" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Even Rock Lobster. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<object height="325" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tDZy6-fMCw4?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tDZy6-fMCw4?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="325"></embed></object><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now THAT's progress!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>Woo-oooo!</em></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-60167994208053889792010-08-20T09:58:00.000-07:002010-08-20T13:03:22.321-07:00Bite me.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">OK, so maybe I've become a wee bit obsessed of late with "plus size supermodel" <a href="http://crystalrenn.com/">Crystal Renn</a> (who by the way is a size 12) and her story of having gone from a too-thin-to-just-right body.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJZ1dGoSjWfwmzqNqLaCuFKxP95qamhCIu4WxXKIz1tl1w21qK26d8GhRudvRq-EOOQ1JS7af1q5Io-BmGhro523l4ARX74_oErCbbDjDKUkerOAdKxG9_QIe6OBsuo6xnVSTnunw6kug/s1600/crystlrennbiteme.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJZ1dGoSjWfwmzqNqLaCuFKxP95qamhCIu4WxXKIz1tl1w21qK26d8GhRudvRq-EOOQ1JS7af1q5Io-BmGhro523l4ARX74_oErCbbDjDKUkerOAdKxG9_QIe6OBsuo6xnVSTnunw6kug/s400/crystlrennbiteme.jpg" width="301" /></span></a></div><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">The plain and simple fact is that this woman looks waaaaaaay finer now than she did when she was a size two or, er, zero ...</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">... thereby planting the suggestion in my thirty-years-of-reading-fashion-magazine-addled mind that I too can -- and will -- look waaaaaay finer at size twelve than at a two.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">This is a new thought for me.</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Size two, <strong><span style="color: magenta;">BITE ME</span></strong>!</span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-459882481002896832010-08-19T21:47:00.000-07:002010-08-19T21:52:12.282-07:00Quote, unquote.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I've been skinny. It's fucking boring".</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">-- Kate Winslet</span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPYvpZFCav7FOzCinSjEozRvxnV1CxRDESv6JhKSGZW1AM2eK0yEO1BXGj7L2hn7PKVXgL_7-OMih1YQejN_vk2_k3MQeRbtLuN_rD9bwlnCRulGJ7tVB0D3j2mMU2K66AajbPo8tyOsg/s1600/katewinslet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPYvpZFCav7FOzCinSjEozRvxnV1CxRDESv6JhKSGZW1AM2eK0yEO1BXGj7L2hn7PKVXgL_7-OMih1YQejN_vk2_k3MQeRbtLuN_rD9bwlnCRulGJ7tVB0D3j2mMU2K66AajbPo8tyOsg/s400/katewinslet.jpg" width="300" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I want this blog -- and my journey -- to be less about losing weight and more about gaining a life.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Sure, at 277 pounds I'm well aware I need to lose weight. But if I grow obsessive about what I eat, what I "can" and "can't" have, planning out precise portions and counting every calorie, what kind of life am I going to have? Is it really going to be better than the one I have right now? </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Or will I (still) be obsessed with food and eating?</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I don't want to believe the myth -- as I have for years -- that if I am skinny all will be perfect. I was skinny once, I wasn't fat at all 'til my early 20's, and my existence was <span style="color: magenta;"><strong>far</strong></span> from perfect. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Very, very far.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Could it be that I'm searching for balance?</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Peace of mind?</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Renewal?</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">If I keep writing, I'll find out.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"></span> </div><div align="center"> </div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6719279576614603877.post-35919126549283348652010-08-19T18:56:00.000-07:002010-08-19T19:13:43.030-07:00FOOD!<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Have you ever felt like this?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><object height="238" width="380"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xk9l6fyxcBE?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xk9l6fyxcBE?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="380" height="238"></embed></object></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have. Very recently, in fact.</span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's <span style="color: magenta;"><strong><em>hard</em></strong></span> staying on limited portions of pureed foods! Hard because a) my brain wasn't banded and b) my band isn't restricting enough. Or at all, apparently.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I start on solids a week from tomorrow.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let's hope my inner Cookie Monster doesn't rise up and devour everything in sight.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">First fill ... you can't arrive soon enough!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Laurie AEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09403987802685638609noreply@blogger.com0