"I've been skinny. It's fucking boring".
-- Kate Winslet
I want this blog -- and my journey -- to be less about losing weight and more about gaining a life.
Sure, at 277 pounds I'm well aware I need to lose weight. But if I grow obsessive about what I eat, what I "can" and "can't" have, planning out precise portions and counting every calorie, what kind of life am I going to have? Is it really going to be better than the one I have right now?
Or will I (still) be obsessed with food and eating?
I don't want to believe the myth -- as I have for years -- that if I am skinny all will be perfect. I was skinny once, I wasn't fat at all 'til my early 20's, and my existence was far from perfect.
Very, very far.
Could it be that I'm searching for balance?
Peace of mind?
If I keep writing, I'll find out.